So.. as Lia bakes me delicious cookies and tells me how I am the best at everything, I am relatively pleased with my decision to marry her. I have, however, been exposed to the dark side of marriage.
Sly and Edu, my cool hipster in-laws, came up to visit us last Saturday. We watched the UEFA Championship (soccer) and then they took us to dinner at a nice little Peruvian place about 2 blocks from our apartment. The food was delicious and the weather was great, so we ate outside. The meal was just about perfect until about 2 minutes after we got our entrées.
At that time, a little old man and his wife were walking by and the gentlemen tripped and hit the ground... hard. He was bleeding a good bit from his nose and a gash on his forehead. Lia ran over and tried to play nurse, but there was already another nurse there and the man was slightly larger than the average premature newborn, so Lia eventually returned to the table. They called an ambulance, but the man stopped bleeding pretty quickly and was fine in no time at all.
So, don't think that this story is about the man, because he was a trooper. I hope he recovers quickly and completely, and based on how tough he was, I have no questions he will. His wife, however, is a different story.
Right after the man went down, instead of rushing to his aid, she just stood there. A minute later, she sits down. She then begins hyperventilating and sure enough, starts throwing up repeatedly right next to her poor husband. Everyone leaves the side of the man who was actually injured and rushes to the aid of this lady. When the cops arrive, they think that the lady is the one in distress until one of them notices the guys blood. When the ambulance finally arrives, they carry her away on the stretcher!
At this point a lot of people in the restaurant were completely baffled. The man has been up, walking around and trying to console his wife for a good 15 minutes. He walked himself over to the ambulance and rode with her to the hospital.
Now some of you are going to say that it was a traumatic event in her life and that I am a bad person. You are probably right. I do however present the argument that being unable to handle stress combined with a flare for the dramatic makes you a liability to be around. If something bad happens to you, do you want to be with someone who will assist you or try to one-up you? So, all of you single people, before you take the plunge, make sure that your spouse is a nurse. I have a single male cousin who just graduated from nursing school if any of you ladies are interested.
Dibs!
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