Hey There Friends,
It has come to my attention that many of you do not realize how cool Lia and my life together is. I use the term cool because it is a positive adjective that means absolutely nothing. I am still awake tonight and it is entirely Lia's fault because she works nights. We all know Lia is very counter-cultural, and one way in which she expresses this is by working from 7pm to 7am three nights a week. Me, being the fantastic husband I am, try to stay awake real late with her and then sleep in to 3pm so that she has someone to keep her company. It works out great, because I adjust sleeping schedules very quickly and have Call of Duty Black Ops to keep me company while she works.
Now I try to spend as much time with Lia as possible when I am home because I travel a little. That may actually be an understatement. I have flown about 90 segments in the past year. I leave on Monday mornings to travel to Orlando and stay in a hotel until I fly home on Thursday nights. Sometimes I throw a trip to Chicago, Nashville, Portland or New York in there to confuse Steve Jobs who is tracking me through my iPod.
And the reason this is on my mind is because I have a plethora of work-related news. Our team's contract with the Grand Bohemian Hotel in Orlando expired at the end of May and they have decided not to renew (we were paying them 100 bucks a night while the average price of a room was around 300). The reason this is sad is because of all of the good times and famous people we got to rub elbows with while we stayed there. It is by far the nicest hotel in Orlando, so we got to hang out (sort of) with Oprah, Lebron, DWade, Dwight Howard, Lil Wayne, Geraldo, Rick Ross and many more.
Some of those folks were pretty friendly. Shaq came into our conference room at the hotel and asked us what we did. One of my teammates, Reuben, told him we did healthcare stuff and asked what he did. He grunted and walked away. He was definitely as cool in real life as he was in Shazam.
Here is a video of Shaq creeping on Biebs while he plays the piano. I don't really remember who on my team took the video, but if I figure it out I will yell at them for holding their phone sideways.
So.. we are moving down the street to another Marriott brand hotel, since our directors love the Marriott rewards program. That is only half the news. I also recently received my next project assignment. At the end of August I will start flying each week to Kansas City!
I will be working up there as part of the same nation-wide project. I am excited for the bbq, but not excited to get sick of the bbq and have to deal with winter. I should be up there for a bit more than a year. Anyway, that is my big news.
Also, Lia and I are both going on a 5 day vacation to NYC in about 2 1/2 weeks, so if anyone has any advice on things to do/not to do or cool/cheap/really cheap places to eat, tell Lia.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
The Wife Debate
So.. as Lia bakes me delicious cookies and tells me how I am the best at everything, I am relatively pleased with my decision to marry her. I have, however, been exposed to the dark side of marriage.
Sly and Edu, my cool hipster in-laws, came up to visit us last Saturday. We watched the UEFA Championship (soccer) and then they took us to dinner at a nice little Peruvian place about 2 blocks from our apartment. The food was delicious and the weather was great, so we ate outside. The meal was just about perfect until about 2 minutes after we got our entrées.
At that time, a little old man and his wife were walking by and the gentlemen tripped and hit the ground... hard. He was bleeding a good bit from his nose and a gash on his forehead. Lia ran over and tried to play nurse, but there was already another nurse there and the man was slightly larger than the average premature newborn, so Lia eventually returned to the table. They called an ambulance, but the man stopped bleeding pretty quickly and was fine in no time at all.
So, don't think that this story is about the man, because he was a trooper. I hope he recovers quickly and completely, and based on how tough he was, I have no questions he will. His wife, however, is a different story.
Right after the man went down, instead of rushing to his aid, she just stood there. A minute later, she sits down. She then begins hyperventilating and sure enough, starts throwing up repeatedly right next to her poor husband. Everyone leaves the side of the man who was actually injured and rushes to the aid of this lady. When the cops arrive, they think that the lady is the one in distress until one of them notices the guys blood. When the ambulance finally arrives, they carry her away on the stretcher!
At this point a lot of people in the restaurant were completely baffled. The man has been up, walking around and trying to console his wife for a good 15 minutes. He walked himself over to the ambulance and rode with her to the hospital.
Now some of you are going to say that it was a traumatic event in her life and that I am a bad person. You are probably right. I do however present the argument that being unable to handle stress combined with a flare for the dramatic makes you a liability to be around. If something bad happens to you, do you want to be with someone who will assist you or try to one-up you? So, all of you single people, before you take the plunge, make sure that your spouse is a nurse. I have a single male cousin who just graduated from nursing school if any of you ladies are interested.
Sly and Edu, my cool hipster in-laws, came up to visit us last Saturday. We watched the UEFA Championship (soccer) and then they took us to dinner at a nice little Peruvian place about 2 blocks from our apartment. The food was delicious and the weather was great, so we ate outside. The meal was just about perfect until about 2 minutes after we got our entrées.
At that time, a little old man and his wife were walking by and the gentlemen tripped and hit the ground... hard. He was bleeding a good bit from his nose and a gash on his forehead. Lia ran over and tried to play nurse, but there was already another nurse there and the man was slightly larger than the average premature newborn, so Lia eventually returned to the table. They called an ambulance, but the man stopped bleeding pretty quickly and was fine in no time at all.
So, don't think that this story is about the man, because he was a trooper. I hope he recovers quickly and completely, and based on how tough he was, I have no questions he will. His wife, however, is a different story.
Right after the man went down, instead of rushing to his aid, she just stood there. A minute later, she sits down. She then begins hyperventilating and sure enough, starts throwing up repeatedly right next to her poor husband. Everyone leaves the side of the man who was actually injured and rushes to the aid of this lady. When the cops arrive, they think that the lady is the one in distress until one of them notices the guys blood. When the ambulance finally arrives, they carry her away on the stretcher!
At this point a lot of people in the restaurant were completely baffled. The man has been up, walking around and trying to console his wife for a good 15 minutes. He walked himself over to the ambulance and rode with her to the hospital.
Now some of you are going to say that it was a traumatic event in her life and that I am a bad person. You are probably right. I do however present the argument that being unable to handle stress combined with a flare for the dramatic makes you a liability to be around. If something bad happens to you, do you want to be with someone who will assist you or try to one-up you? So, all of you single people, before you take the plunge, make sure that your spouse is a nurse. I have a single male cousin who just graduated from nursing school if any of you ladies are interested.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
The Taming of the Mane
Hello Valued Readers,
I have shocking news for all of you. First off, I am way behind and you all should expect a barrage of posts soon. Secondly, Lia chopped off her beautiful mane and paid someone to rub carrot juice in her hair which makes it straight like white people hair. She looks quite cute, but this is one of the most drastic steps she has taken yet towards integrating into american society. The last grasp for acceptance into white culture this significant was when she married me. Don't worry, this was much cheaper.
So you all remember the beautiful amazonian princess that I married, pictured above with her full flowing mane. Now take a look at the transformation! She can pretty much walk through Arizona now without anyone even thinking about asking to see her citizenship papers.
So that is my story. My wife no longer has the long flowing locks of her youth. I think this symbolizes a new stage in our lives, a step forward into maturity. Goodbye to video games and tv, and hello to... better video games and HDTV? Growing up isn't nearly as bad as people make it out to be.
I have shocking news for all of you. First off, I am way behind and you all should expect a barrage of posts soon. Secondly, Lia chopped off her beautiful mane and paid someone to rub carrot juice in her hair which makes it straight like white people hair. She looks quite cute, but this is one of the most drastic steps she has taken yet towards integrating into american society. The last grasp for acceptance into white culture this significant was when she married me. Don't worry, this was much cheaper.
So you all remember the beautiful amazonian princess that I married, pictured above with her full flowing mane. Now take a look at the transformation! She can pretty much walk through Arizona now without anyone even thinking about asking to see her citizenship papers.
So that is my story. My wife no longer has the long flowing locks of her youth. I think this symbolizes a new stage in our lives, a step forward into maturity. Goodbye to video games and tv, and hello to... better video games and HDTV? Growing up isn't nearly as bad as people make it out to be.
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